How do you respond when you're offended? Why is it that one word, a look or even a perceived snub can suddenly change your happy mood into an overwhelming feeling of hurtful indignation? More often than not offence starts with the notion that you were wrongfully hurt and, therefore, have the right to feel resentment towards the perpetrator.

Offence is always directed at yourself. It's all about your feelings. Thoughts racing through your head may go something like this: "how dare he/she do that to me," "what did I do to deserve this?" and "I will never trust him/her again!"

Let's have a look at what the Bible has to say about offence. In Luke 4: 16-30 we see that when Jesus ministered the first time in his hometown, the people there "were filled with wrath" to the point of wanting to kill him. Why? Because he had grown up among them and their pride did not want to believe him when he said that He was the subject of the scriptures he was reading! Instead of allowing the Word to open their spiritual ears, their erroneous judgments based on feelings of offence kept them from receiving salvation, healing and joy. While the crowd was pushing Jesus towards the cliff to his death, he "passing through the midst of them went away."

If you read through this account in Luke you will notice that Jesus told the crowd that the scripture he was reading was being fulfilled in their ears! Most chose not to believe it and murmured among themselves.

Jesus gave you a great example of dealing with offence. He squashed it right in the bud by telling them that no prophet was ever accepted in his own country and that he was not unique. In other words, he acknowledged being aware of their evil thoughts directed at him and, like the prophets, he came only for a few. He then slipped right through the midst of an angry crowd.

Let his actions be your example. He did not go about telling his disciples and others about his hurt. Angry words expressed by a hurtful person to any number of people have the power to evoke similar attitudes in the listeners. As you keep repeating your hurtful incident to others and constantly thinking about it with bitterness, you will cause it to become a festering wound that will hold you bound. Your anguish will rob you of your joy and well-being, and affect all those around you as well.

"Be ye angry and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil. Let no corrupt communication come out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." (Eph. 5: 26-32)

You are the one in control of your feelings. Do not give into the devil's evil whisperings in your ear. His scheme is to harp on your feelings. Just as Jesus did, respond to the person as soon as possible. If the issue is not resolved, then forgive and walk away. Slip through the barrage of angry words and/or feelings and let your joy return. Don't allow anyone to steal your joy!

No amount of anger and retaliation can right a wrong. "Bless them which persecute you: bless and curse not. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." (Rom. 12: 14-21)

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Everyone will agree that it is much more difficult to find a special gift for a person you are close to, no matter what the occasion. In such cases people usually spend hours and hours without luck. It is the same for me, I always need lots and lots of time when I'm looking for a present for someone I love, no matter if it is for a birthday or any other occasion. Just by accident I once found a great special present for my sister.

I was actually very lucky as she is very limited in what she can wear, being allergic to all types of metal jewelry. So that bracelet I found was made of two lines of glass beads and was just in the colors that she likes and wears a lot. It was stretchy so size didn't matter at all and the most important - there was no metal on it at all.

On another shopping trip of mine I luckily came upon a special gift for my godchild. She has always been into the heart shaped things, and what I found was a wide variety of different colors and sizes of hearts shaped out of glass. I also found a heart shaped bow made of glass so I purchased some hearts and the bowl, making a very nice and warming set of crystal hearts.

After a few lucky occasions I realized that it was actually much easier to get those special gifts when they are not the priority and you are not looking for them at all. This made me take the decision and now I am looking at such items all year round.

It is better like this because first there is no pressure and shopping itself becomes much more pleasant and relaxed and second it saves me money, because shopping all year round I often get the sale prices, and even if they are not on sale it is much easier to get a thing each month instead in getting all together in December.

And in case I already managed to convince you that it is better to do it my way, I will give you some advice on how to make it even easier to find a special gift. It is very simple but it helps a lot. Just make a list of all the beloved people you usually buy for and make sure to have it always with you. Any time you find a gift suitable for a person on your list just buy it and cross the name off.

Then when holidays come you just buy for the ones still on the list. It is also a good idea to arrange a place where to store all those, because it already had to buy another present because I could not remember where the one that I bought earlier was. Being sensible and organized in purchasing the presents for you closest people can both help you save money and time finding a special gift, and make holidays much more relaxed and pleasant.

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